108 Hours Dark Room Retreat
Preparing for my first dark room meditation retreat, I had read about the biochemical bodily changed that would come with the cessation of external light. First the pineal gland would make more melatonin, aiding in sleep and body repair. From there the melatonin could be converted into substantial amounts of DMT, which is the psychoactive chemical contained in the visionary South American plant medicine ayahuasca, or yaje.
So in theory it should be lots of good sleep followed by hours of psychedelic journeying, right?
All seriousness aside, this last thought alone is proof we need not psychedelic drugs to hallucinate — we are doing it all the time!
Now onwards to my retreat experience.
Walking out of Mazunte town, I entered up through the brown gates of Hridaya Yoga. Ascending the hill, a young man named David greets me with kind heart, clear eyes and a purple plastic cup of water. We sit down and talk about what to expect in the dark room.
I was scheduled for five nights, where I would receive two meals per day passed through a food box of a window. Velcro-edged black cloth bordered the windows and door to assure not a sliver of light would infiltrate the experience. No external light disrupting the pineal pathways!
Inside my block room were the basics — bathroom, bed, fan, A/C, yoga mats, cushions and a meditation bench I had requested. David left me with the wisdom of ‘being present with what is’ and gave me a candle to light and blow out when I was in the room all accustomed and ready to begin.
Lighting the candle, I relaxed and took mental notes of where everything was, blew out the light and began the first moments of 108 hours in complete external darkness, as if the moon had bumped the off switch for the sun on her way up into the night sky. The lights would be out for nearly a week.
Passing the time I found my monkey mind running around, looking for anything but the present moment. From Game of Thrones to sexual fantasy to the great project to son, wife, family and friends, my attachments wove stories and thoughts to keep me company.
Other moments the monkey was in meditation — completely present with what is. In the flow of the darkness. Light of various colors would come and go in varying movements and forms. It did not matter whether eyes were open or closed, the visions would remain the same.
Two meals a day were sufficient, bordering on excess. Tastes and textures were a surprise, trying to figure out what I was actually eating., Whole unpeeled mangoes for breakfast were a favorite snack!
After two days of good sleep, the final three nights brought a bit of insomnia as the third eye light show was beyond my control.
As for the duration of five nights, it felt a good amount for my first retreat. It is recommended to ease into the dark retreat first with a few days of meditation, and afterwards take a few more days to acclimate into the world of sun light.
I would heed this advice (even though I didn’t), as when it was time to reenter the sunlit earth, my eyes were in pain! Leaving the dark room a bit before dawn, when the trees and birds were still submersed in shadows, the unpleasant shock to the sight system lasted for a couple hours.
Like when Neo woke from the matrix and asked why his eyes hurt, my eyes hurt from not having used them to bend light for a while. Walking home, I used my eyes only for spatial surveillance, not wanting to focus much at all. They were only there to keep my body from walking into lamp posts and walls.
For the rest of that day and for several days later, my third eye was the eye of choice.
Also known as Ajna, it is the one that looks within. Going beyond the world of frozen light and form, in this sense it is more profound, taking us deeper than what normal sight has to offer. Suddenly i found myself more aware of how I was using my vision. Whereas my old pattern was to focus intensely on the outside world; now there was an awareness learned from the dark, capable of switching back to Ajna, entering into a relaxed vision state.